It's one thing to respond out of habit, and ...
Published on HivePostify by @janitzearratia · Tue Aug 25 2026
>Another, very different is to answer honestly... Everything is not found in a couple.
As a couple we can find some things, but not everything. That is, the absolute answer to happiness cannot depend on the other. Your happiness is your responsibility, even if the partner contributes to it.
Sometimes, consciously or unconsciously, we are waiting for the other to “make us happy” and we get frustrated when it doesn't happen. And I believe that the other can contribute, support and contribute, but never be the only one responsible.
To be “okay" too soon... It is to keep quiet to avoid conflicts. We walked away so we wouldn't feel hurt. We accept what hurts us for fear of losing. We try to control everything so as not to feel uncertainty again.
Sharing interests is fine, but it's not the only way to be. As long as everyone has the space to be and live what they need, then it is possible to build a healthy dynamic.
When someone can not live what excites him because the other is unwilling, the relationship begins to wither. Obviously, it's not that you end up doing everything alone in that space, because that's not what being in a couple is for.
In the end, balance, although it may seem obvious, is the key. The real challenge is not to know what it takes to have it, but how to achieve it. In Latin cultures like ours, we carry our discomfort in silence so as not to make the other uncomfortable.
That process of rushing to be well leads to adapting, and wanting to have everything solved before we have really processed our discomfort. It ends up being a burden that is expressed in our body, in our way of sleeping and “we don't understand what's going on”.
It's time to accept that there are things that take their time, and as I always say, everyone elaborates at their own pace. Changes only make us move forward, a crisis is just an opportunity!...
Sometimes... Be careful with the answer, because almost all of us say "fine”, and that's the automatic answer, the one that comes out without thinking. Too often we answer “I'm fine” when we are asked how we are, without it necessarily being that way.
Falling in love can be the easiest part, almost like entering an irreversible portal, but the really difficult and valuable thing is to find someone who really wants to dance with you, that is, to commit to a true partnership.
This "dance" implies constant tuning: knowing how to discuss constructively, generate emotional security (responding on time without overwhelming), and making small mutual adjustments with humility and vulnerability.
There are questions that one avoids because, deep down, one suspects that the answer is not the one we would like. But sometimes a good question shows you in seconds something that you've been trying to justify for months. That if we are in a relationship or starting to meet someone. Many times for fear of loneliness we choose wrong, and that in the long run hurts more than being alone or lonely.
Happy Day! ... Janitze. 🌹
Separator made with [Canva]( https://www.canva.com/) by @janitzearratia
Any images in this post are taken with my iPhone 12, the Infinix pro-note 30 or with the camera eighties Rolleiflex 2.8 f, and edited with [Canva]( https://www.canva.com/)
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